If you’re a guy who thinks you’ve got the bedroom skills of a seasoned porn star, New Zealand’s reigning OnlyFans queen, Layla, has a reality check for you: You’re doing it all wrong.
According to Layla Kelly—who’s been crowned New Zealand’s Best Porn Star two years in a row—too many men enter the bedroom with a crippling need to perform, instead of simply enjoying the experience.
“They come in thinking they need to last forever, look a certain way, and do all these crazy positions from staged porn films—but that’s not how real sex works.”
Layla, who has built a global following through her steamy online content, says men are under immense pressure to be alpha males, but that kind of thinking is backfiring where it counts the most.
Here’s What You’re Getting Wrong (According to NZ’s Top Porn Star):
- You’re Too Focused on Performance.
“A lot of guys treat sex like a competition. They’re so obsessed with lasting longer or mimicking what they see online, that they forget to actually enjoy it—or let their partner enjoy it.” - You Think You Have to Be a Machine.
“Most pro performers use enhancements. You can’t go at it for an hour straight and expect to perform at your best. The more pressure you put on yourself, the worse it gets.” - You’re Faking Confidence.
“I see it all the time. A guy comes in all bravado, trying to act like a stud. But when it’s go-time? The pressure crumbles them. The best lovers are the ones who are present, not the ones trying to ‘prove’ something.”
How to Actually Be Good in Bed
Layla isn’t just pointing out the problems—she’s got the solutions too.
- Ditch the Script – “What you see in commercial porn isn’t real life. It’s staged, it’s acted, and most guys are just copying bad habits.”
- Forget Performance, Focus on Connection – “If you’re in your head about how long you’re lasting or how you look, you’re not actually paying attention to your partner.”
- Confidence is Key – “Real confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin, not trying to be something you’re not.”
And according to Layla, when men take this advice, the results speak for themselves.
“A guy messaged me a week after our shoot, saying he used what I taught him on a partner,” she reveals. “She told him it was the best experience of her life.”
Layla is on a mission to reshape the conversation around men’s confidence in the bedroom, helping them break free from the performance trap and rediscover what real, authentic intimacy feels like.
“Trust me,” she says. “If you want to be great in bed, stop worrying about how you measure up. Get out of your head, and into the moment.”
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Last modified: March 14, 2025
